Will not be blogging regularly until exams over on 24th.

Friday, June 6, 2003

12:27 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

Lilo and Stitch Combined

I find that Adik's not such a bratty sister after all.

She was really quite well-behaved this visit. No jumping on me in the mornings, no irritating demands, and plenty of fun.

Either she's changed, or I have.

She's like a roller-coaster. Thrilling, exciting, fun. Also makes you feel like screaming. Ignore her claims to running a boring life. As her boyfriend says, she looks like Lilo and acts like Stitch. We both keep waiting for her to bite her feet and roll into a ball. Hanging out with her is definitely enjoyable.

I will miss her when she goes. There's nothing like being able to knock on someone's door, demanding to be let in and entertained, right in your own home.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030606

Wednesday, June 4, 2003

04:02 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

Pedicure shifts Paradigm

That's because Adik and I found this little manicure shop in Midvalley Mega Mall, charging RM35 for pedicures and RM25 for manicures. It's on the first floor, across from Metrojaya (which is on ground floor).

So yesterday I got myself a pedicure, and got my toenails polished Peach Zing.

That's this funky orange, that changes shades depending on light.

Hee! My toes are pretty.

Who'd have thought a little well-applied nail-polish could do so much for my ugly feet?

I used to think my feet were one of the most unattractive things about my looks. I thought the only thing I could do was just keep people looking elsewhere (boobs, face, clothes).

Now, my feet may not have changed much, but it's amazing how colourful toe-tips distract attention away from actual feet.

Hee! Pretty toes....

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030604

Monday, June 2, 2003

01:12 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

Belonging to an Extended Family

I didn't even care. They were obviously distant relatives, and I had tons of cousins I was too busy playing with to bother with grown-up relatives who didn't visit regularly.

To my sadness, I'm now one of those distant relatives. I have cousins who don't know that I'm a cousin. I have children of cousins who don't realize that once I had very close relationships with their parents.

They don't know my name, and I don't know theirs. I'm not sure whose kid is whose, and they definitely know who what rank I am. I had a kid who spoke rudely to me! As if I was his cousin, rather than his aunt! I know damned well, I'm his aunt. He obviously, didn't know that. He grinned at me like there was nothing wrong with the way he spoke to me.

My old playmates too, are distant from me. I've been five years away and I barely speak Malay. It's sad.

Yet, I was glad to be home with family. My aunts, uncles and the elder cousins remember me, and I know that time and more interaction will bring about a better relationship again. I sat and listened to everybody talking. I chipped in a little now and then with the food organization and cleaning up.

Family is good. Even though I'd like to hang each and every one of the little kids by their ankles onto the roof.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030602

Friday, May 30, 2003

11:26 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

I am stupid.

That is what I fear is the truth.

I don't know if it's the truth or not. Too many people keep telling me that I'm intelligent, and so smart. Yet, I don't know simple things like how to study. I've been so "intelligent" all my life, that I somehow coursed through school without actually learning how to study.

I hate the idea of admitting to being stupid. I don't know why it matters to me whether people think I'm smart or stupid. In the end, I look stupid either way.

Maybe I should just take the most famous phrase of Socrates, and admit to "knowing nothing."

Maybe then, I might actually be a little smarter.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030530

Thursday, May 29, 2003

10:32 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

Panic Babble

Feel scared. Seriously am wondering if I'll manage to pass or not.

I don't know what I'll do if I fail.

I'm focusing on the results again, and my impulse was to dig up a romance novel to hide in until the whole exam months is over.

Then, it occurred to me, that I still have a chance. Yes, I might fail, but if I do my best, I might also pass.

Instead of making my fears reality, I should be grabbing my fears deep into me, to force an urgency into me that will make me study like mad, so I might pass!

Okay, I don't think that sounded coherent.

I am so bloody afraid that I will fail. I might actually fail. Again.

Damn it, I still might actually pass. I have to do my best!

Fear as a friend? I'm very slow, I admit. Never occurred to me before.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030529a

Thursday, May 29, 2003

08:57 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

Stiletto Shoes Save

I am high on my beautiful new shoes.

Pun intended.

I adore stiletto high heels. They're tricksy, they are. A challenge and a half.

Maybe I'm just a self-inflicting masochist. Or maybe this is just another way of expressing my anorexic controlling tendencies.

Will wearing more stiletto shoes reduce my anorexic bouts and increase my college attendance?

Ah, what a lovely hypothesis.... If only it had facts to back it up.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030529

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

11:32 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

Service your Computer!

People should send their CPUs to the computer shops for servicing the way people send cars.

It is wonderful!

My computer is now running on Windows XP, with a partitioned hard drive, a new RAM, and I've installed Kazaa Lite and re-installed my favourite little programs.

Best of all, everything runs smoothly!

Joy, joy, joy.

This is nearly better than the japanese buffet lunch at Renaissance Hotel.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030528

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

02:04 p.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

HANI's Honey Holds Here

Okay, that was a very repetitious paragraph.

A purpose that lives is a purpose that is important and necessary to whoever is maintaining that purpose. A dead purpose is a purpose forgotten, uncared for and thrown away. The purpose's importance doesn't have to be important to everybody. It just has to be important to the person with the purpose. If it is important to you to worship Britney Spears, then your purpose to worship Spears is still a purpose that lives.

A purpose that endures is a purpose that lasts for a long, long time. It is a purpose that continues to last for as long as it can. A purpose can live without being enduring. If you're thirteen years old with the purpose of worshipping Britney Spears, it is possible that when Matrix came out, you found yourself worshipping Belucci instead of Spears. That would prove to you that your worship of Spears was not enduring.

A blog without a purpose that is important and long-lasting will find no reason to continue. It will eventually die out, locked in ignored stasis. Most people I know begin blogging because all their friends were doing it. They did it out of curiosity. The purpose of curiosity is neither important, nor long-lasting. I, myself, began blogging because Nina, Mother of YCC Blogs (we need a webring!), pestered me into it.

Then, I found myself with a purpose, a need to communicate with family and friends miles and miles away from me. I didn't want to flood people with e-mails and huge files. I wanted to be able to tell people things about myself, in a way that allowed them to choose when (even whether) to see or "hear" about it.

Having fooled around with the blog, it gave me the solution to my need and purpose. So, in 2001, on June 17, I brought forth the first version of HANI's Honey.

Let me say that my blog improved a lot since then. I attribute it to the fact that my purpose as a blogger has been refined. I know now for sure today, why I blog, and why I will keep blogging.

There are days when I can't remember exactly the reason I blog, but I always know deep down that there is a purpose, and it lives and endures. As long as my purpose exists, so will this blog, no matter what incarnation it may eventually take.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030527

Monday, May 26, 2003

08:54 a.m. Kuala Lumpur Standard Time

PR report completed

I have to confess that most of it pours out from my brain. My groupmates are not as creative as I am, and I have a tendency to be impatient waiting for people to speak. I'd rather let them interrupt me, then to wait for them to talk. Since they never raised any suggestions of their own, most of the creative work on the Public Relations campaign was mine.

Not that they shirked their work! They found the company, and they did most of the research.

I find that that is how I work best. Someone else needs to gather data and information, inspiring me to provide the idea.

I don't research as well as I bullshit, you could say.

Be honest.
Link to the start of entry: #20030526